I was reminded that the 2009 Bulwer-Lytton winners had recently been announced. I always enjoy these each year. This is the annual contest for the worst opening line (since 1983). It is named after Edward George Bulwer-Lytton who wrote the famous opening phrase that Snoopy used so often: “It was a dark and stormy night . . .”  [Paul Clifford, 1830].

If you get a chance, check out the winners for this year at http://bulwer-Lytton.com .

One of my favs was the romance winner:

Melinda woke up suddenly to the sound of her trailer being pounded with wind and hail, and she couldn’t help thinking that if she had only put her prized hog up for adoption last May, none of this would be happening, no one would have gotten hurt, and she wouldn’t be left with only nine toes, or be living in a mobile home park in Nebraska with a second-rate trapeze artist named Fred.  (by Ada Marie Finkel. Boston, MA)

HAH! (But it does make you want to keep reading, doesn’t it?)

Entries are taken all year long for the next batch of winners, so why not contribute if you’ve got a sentence that just isn’t working? Make it as awful as you can . . . who knows, you might be one of next year’s winners. And teachers, have your students—just for a fun respite from studying good writing—try writing the worst sentence ever. Have some samples of purple prose around, or first lines from genre fiction for them to imitate.

Have fun!

 

                                 Ciao,

hand writing

Shutta